After Junes passing, Marge’s continued to decline as well. Fran was increasingly frustrated that her community was now infiltrated with couples, and she felt isolated.
Fran ultimately decided it was time to move. She berated me for not having a solid plan, accusing me of not wanting her to come back to Michigan. Truth be told I probably did drag my feet a bit, but I was also doing her bidding on securing a location for my brother Doug’s ashes to be interred.
Fran was laser focused on obtaining a cemetery plot and having my brothers ashes buried along with hers when her time came. She had already prepaid for a cremation for herself in Florida which was looking like a non starter once she moved back to Michigan
My cousin had passed a few years before and my cousin Lori and I had a discussion about the family plot in Berkley, Michigan. Muriel, our grandmother had purchased a large plot when her husband passed away, followed shortly by her eldest son (my Uncle) at 18. We surmised that she had purchased enough room for her immediate family including my Aunt Jo and my Dad, Bob.
When Muriel passed the family plot was passed to my Aunt Jo who sadly filled in several spaces before her death when her husband passed and her oldest son. She was laid to rest years later and while I miss her I am thankful she did not live to see her remaining 2 children pass away.
Lori, in search of a place where her other brother could be buried discovered there was more room at the inn and ultimately he was buried with his family. Since I knew the burial plot was meant for Bob as well Lori and I searched for a way to add Bobs side of our family.
By now I had kept Bobs cremains as well as my older brothers in my home, Bob was fast approaching 40 years in my china cabinet. Billy, my oldest brother joined him for the last 20+ years.
it was suggested we could add a bench that would be placed in front of the markers, am idea that I thought would make Fran happy. All the Hoopers in the family plot!
Fran liked the idea of purchasing a granite bench and having her ashes interred with her sons on either side of her. It was cheaper than buying plots,or niches. I moved forward making the arrangements which were surprisingly complex.
Turns out you simply cannot place ashes in a granite bench….it requires lots of paperwork, an open and close expense, engraving and placement on the plot. Who knew that coupled with a pandemic it would take much of my time
Fran wanted the best, we secured a beautiful bench costing over $13,000, I was shocked she was willing to pay for it as Fran was always very frugal.
I provided her with sketches, won the approval and set the plan in motion. Once I mentioned that Bob, my Dad would also be in the bench, all hell broke loose. Fran was adamant that Bob not be placed in her bench.
I explained to Fran that she was the interloper in the arrangement.
It was Bobs family plot and he was going in,
I was paying for his costs. The fight was on as usual but once she discovered it shaved almost $2000 off her cost she was in, with one stipulation. Bob was to be placed on one end, she would be on the other end, furthest away. The boys were to be placed in the middle as a buffer.
I was the only one present at the open and close so I felt that I could choose the order, Bob, Fran, Billy and Doug. Done. Now I’m definitely going to hell ,securing my spot as the disappointing daughter.
The move to Michigan was finalized. After searching numerous locations for Senior living, I settled on a lovely new complex within 3 miles of my home. It was perfect for Fran, close to me, brand new and many plans for the property adjacent to her facility.
I could not have imagined what was to come as I stayed busy arranging the move, packing, ordering furniture and getting her new apartment ready.
Since the facility was new, the build out was delayed due to typical Michigan weather. Fortunately the weather helped in the transition as Fran did not want to leave Florida until the weather was nicer here.
I flew back and forth helping her discard, donate and pack for the move north. The visits to Marge as we were winding down became painful to watch. Marge was one of her oldest,dearest friends and she struggled to accept she would never see Fran again.
As the final day arrived, we said our last goodbyes to Marge as they hugged and cried. The late afternoon was dinner with my nephew and my brothers ex-wife to say goodbye as well.
It was exhausting, tearful and I kept questioning the decision, even though I knew it was the right decision.
We landed in Michigan and Fran seemed to be handling all the craziness in stride. I had made certain her new apartment was ready with final touches directed by her and dependent on the delivery of items we had to ship.
On the way home I informed Mom we would stop at her apartment and then go to my home for the evening and have dinner with the grandkids.
She declined the offer and said she was tired and just wanted to see her new place and spend the night there. I was resistant to the idea as she did not have a phone activated yet, but she persisted.
We went to the apartment, her mood was flat which I mistook as a sign she was tired. We toured the building, explaining all the amenities without much enthusiasm on Fran’s part.
I vowed to come by the next morning early to figure out our next steps. As I drove the short distance home I knew I was ill equipped to deal with Fran every day, I needed to recalibrate.
I had no clue what was on the horizon in a few short weeks.
Next up: You can’t make this up, Fran implodes within 3 weeks